A Long Drive Home
by Vy Soren
Summary: Death has a profound effect on one's out look on their life, but all Rayne can see is all the mistakes and burned bridges she left behind. She's given the chance to go back and fix what she broke, but can she figure out how to make amends and forge new relationships with new people? She's not sure, but she's determined to try. OCxRENO A rewrite of Low Fidelity Turned On High by TKQ
1. Chapter One: The Perspectives of Death

**A/N: Hello again to anyone who happened to read the pathetic dribble titled _Low Fidelity Turned On High _(same author, new account). I would like to apologize to those readers for 1. giving up on the story and 2. for publishing such a crappy piece of work. This, as I'm sure you've read from the summary, is the first chapter of the rewrite. I understand the original story is not complete yet but several things are being cleaned up and rearranged, and somethings (like Rayne's personality for one) are being drastically altered. Please stick with me through this long overhaul and know that I'm doing this partly for myself, but mostly for all of you.**

**Now, please, enjoy this reworking of an old idea.**

**~Vy**

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_**A Long Drive Home**_

**Chapter One – The Perspectives of Death**

"_**I can't seem to function, from this far away.  
And every little moment looks so dull,  
without your color in my day.**_

_**Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.**_

_**This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bare.  
I hate this distance between us; I don't think it's fair."**_

_**-'Low Fidelity' by The Spill Canvas**_

_A foggy, yet bright sky loomed above me and flowers of every imaginable color hid in my periphery vision, filling the field with a gentle aroma. I couldn't remember how I had gotten to this ethereal field of flowers or even where such a place could exist, but I lay in the middle of it all with an unfamiliar feeling of peace and serenity in my chest._

_Lying in the grass, glimmers of the moments before I had gotten there began to come back to me. "I never expected it to end like that," I sighed and sat up. A vast expanse of flowers stretched out before me with seemingly no end, leaving a new pang of loss in my heart. "Now what?"_

"_Didn't plan on dying today, huh?" A stab of horrible longing and loneliness shot through me at the sound of the playful chuckle. I hadn't heard that voice for years._

_A painful smile pulled at my lips, but I knew it couldn't have touched my eyes, "Not really," I replied, leaning against his back, remembering all the times we had sat like that in the past. Sitting with him, I realized just how much I had truly missed him._

"_What happened? Don't tell me you got bested by a fiend," I felt his muscles flex as he laughed again. The overwhelming urge to cry came over me but was forced back by my inexplicable compulsion to appear as though I wasn't capable of such emotions._

"_Of course not," I huffed with indignation at such a thought, though the awkward silence that hung between us revealed my lie. Shoulders slumping forward, I shamefully admitted, "At least not one alone."_

_He howled openly at my misfortune, "Seriously?" Trust him to make light of even the most ill-fated of situations._

"_It's not funny!" I snapped, "It was a whole horde of them! I was barely able to kill them all by the time my body gave out." I stared at my hands in distain, "I just lay on the ground trying to make my body move. It was the worst experience of my life."_

"_Yeah, I'll say," I could hear his grin bleed through every word he spoke, both mocking and endearing in a manner only he could ever possess._

"_Zack Fair, stop laughing at my death," I spouted, though it went unheeded as we both chuckled at the irony of it all. My voice sounded significantly smaller when I spoke again. "We can't all have a heroic death like some people."_

_He hummed to himself, "Well, what can you do?" I felt him shrug before leaning away from me. "You weren't as immobile as you think you were," he pointed out, "You managed to make a call to your brother."_

"_Cloud?" I snorted at the idea, "Not likely. And even if I did, it just makes more since why I'm dead now."_

"_Hey!" Zack yelled, startling me at the sudden outburst. "Cloud was the one that buried you. Don't talk like he would ever want you to die." I never liked when Zack put on his serious face, it never quite seemed like he was the same person, but he had never scolded me like he just had before. He was starting to sound too much like his old mentor, Angeal. _

_After a pregnant pause in which a pang of guilt chewed at me, I mumbled, "He really buried my body?"_

"_Yeah," he replied fondly, "You two may have always argued, but he still loved you, just like I know you still love him."_

_I heave a sigh in defeat, "Yeah, I know. Just, the way he behaves always made it hard for me to admit it to myself. Or…maybe it was just the way I thought that made it hard for me to admit I cared about anyone." Saying it out loud hurt more than I thought it would, but Zack didn't say anything, ever aware of my blatant ineptitude at finding faults in myself. Wanting desperately to change the subject, I wondered aloud where Cloud may have laid my body to rest._

"_In Mideel." The lithe voice that answered was one I wasn't prepared for. I heard shifting behind me, then felt a shoulder touch mine. I wanted so badly to turn around and face them, but the fear that they wouldn't be there when I looked left me staring at my lap. "He felt it best to bury you with the village you were trying to protect."_

_I barely heard anything she said. The two people that meant so much to me in the past were sitting and talking to me as though they never left. "Everyone misses you two," I commented, sadly realizing very few people would feel the same about me._

"_We know," they hummed._

_The mistakes I made in my life flashed through my mind and my vision became blurred by tears. "They won't miss me, not after the way I treated them all. The stupid argument I had with Cloud was why I was off on my own because I had already alienated everyone else. I said horrible things to Vincent, and I've never treated Yuffie the way I should have." I closed my eyes and muttered, "I don't deserve this. I deserve something so much worse."_

"_Maybe you should go back then."_

_My eyes snapped open and I almost turned to the ex-SOLDIER. "What?" I breathed, "I can't go back; I'm dead." I swallowed the anger that tried to bubble up; it wasn't like Zack to make such a cruel joke._

"_This place isn't part of the Lifestream," Aerith explained lightly. "The Lifestream is where those that have found peace in their death return to. This place is something different entirely. It exists for those of us that still have something we need to do that can't be completed with a physical body."_

_I shook my head in frustration, "I don't understand, how does that mean I can go back?"_

"_It means you don't belong here or in the Lifestream," Zack huffed then yelped in pain. I could only assume Aerith had elbowed him for his bluntness. "It's true!" he cried indignantly then grumbled to himself for a moment before addressing me again. "You need to be on Gaia to right your wrongs, so you're going back."_

"'_To right my wrongs,'" I let the implications of that sink in. "Does that mean I die again once I've made amends? Assuming that I can." I added as an afterthought._

"_Not exactly," Aerith hummed, "We all have a path to follow."_

"_Yours still has a long way to go," Zack explained, and I could hear the smile in his voice again._

_The warmth that spread through my chest, the weight that lifted off my shoulders, it was a kind of relief I had never felt in my lifetime and it almost moved me to tears again. "No regrets this time," the determination in my voice even shocked me, "I'm not going to die with regrets again."_

"_Sounds like a plan," Zack laughed. I would miss him once I left, but it wouldn't quite be the same longing as it was before. It was more like I'd be going away on a long trip and I would only be waiting to return home now, knowing they would be waiting on the other side of death. _

"_I like it," Aerith agreed, and if I looked I was sure I would see the same smile that always warmed my heart. "Do us a favor and pass on a message, would you?"_

"_Uh, sure," the request struck me as odd, but I couldn't deny them the chance. _

"_Tell them 'it's about time.'"_

_I blinked, "'It's about time' for what? Who's 'them?'" I was completely bewildered._

"_Don't worry about it," Zack laughed again, "You'll see soon enough."_

_I shook my head, "Wait, I don't understand!"_

A weight sitting squarely in the middle of my stomach was effectively laboring my effort to breathe, and only made it worse as it squirmed, almost as though it couldn't keep its balance. My eyes snapped open as two small hands shoved themselves into my neck with enough force to knock what little wind I had out of me. I was both shocked and confused at the sight of a small toddler not-so-firmly seated on top of me staring into my face with a focus I wouldn't think possible for someone so small.

"Um," I muttered, trying to force my voice to be soft and welcoming rather than its usual harshness that was sure to frighten the child away, "What's your name?" I tried, hoping I didn't sound too startled by him.

He seemed to concentrate very hard on my words as though he were trying to make since of them, and I felt like that expression was more familiar to me than it should have been. After a moment longer of him staring at me with a mirror image of my own blue-green MAKO enhanced eye color, he said with a kind of determination that was almost comical for someone so young, "Zack!"

'_What the hell?'_ I thought. Not only were his eyes the same, but he had a wild tuft of dark hair on his head that stood out in all directions just like the man himself._ 'Is this Zack Fair reincarnated?'_ The realization of how ludicrous the notion was didn't strike me until after I had asked, "Do you know who I am?" I had just spoken to Zack; there was no way he could have been reincarnated in the short amount of time between then and now.

Again, the child looked as though he were trying desperately to comprehend what I had said. Just as I expected, he shook his head in reply, but he went on to say, "You look like Daddy." I couldn't help my jaw dropping in disbelief. 'I looked like _who_?' I practically screamed in my head. Then it occurred to me how familiar my surroundings were. I was in one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the Seventh Heaven Bar in Edge.

Taking a deep breath to calm my pounding heart, I asked, "Can you take me to your daddy?" He nodded briskly before directing all his focus on climbing off me and the bed, not sparing a knee to my stomach as he went. I followed him cautiously as he waddled to the door left ajar from when he came in and down the stairs. I felt a smile pull at my lips as I watched how he took the steps two feet at a time, using the wall for support.

I lingered in the shadow of the door way as the little boy's feet slapped against the hardwood floor in a run. "Daddy!" He cried even though he ran into the arms of a dark haired woman. She swept him up into her lap and dramatically kissed his cheek.

"What's up, squirt?" She smiled and bounced him on her knees.

"Daddy!" He cried again and smacked his hands against the surface of the bar in determination as he stared at a man with spikey blonde hair and eyes that matched his own. With a jab of his chubby little finger in my direction, he practically yelled, "Lady looks like you!" I chuckled to myself, he was nothing like his father in attitude, but one could almost argue that they knew about the same amount of words with as little as his father spoke.

He gave his son a puzzled look and opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it again as I stepped into the room and popped my back. Not surprisingly, his expression was difficult to read as usual. If I was forced to name it, I would say he seemed guarded; it was almost like he expected me to attack him, and the way his muscles tensed I wouldn't doubt that was what he thought was about to happen. "Zack," his voice was eerily calm when he spoke, surely to keep from alarming the little one, "Go play with Marlene and Denzel."

Without fuss, the child climbed off his mother's lap and waddled back up the stairs, taking them two feet at time just as he had coming down them. I watched him climb what was surely a mountain of stairs to him and disappear around the corner before turning back to the pair. "I had to die before you two finally got together?" I smirked slightly; it was a dark joke, but the tension was so thick it was nearly tangible. I had to cut it somehow. "I knew you were thick-headed, Cloud, but really-"

"I saw your body," he said, cutting off my attempt at making light of the situation at hand. They stared at me as though they couldn't comprehend the fact that I was standing in front of them, though I could hardly blame them for it. I was walking back into their lives from the dead after all. "You…" he shook his head, seeming to discard whatever comment he was about to make, clearly unsure how to proceed. "You called me," he tried again but hesitated as if recalling something he had yet to understand. "It wasn't you on the line, it sounded like…Zack. He said where you were then the line went dead."

I smiled in understanding and laughed to myself,_ 'Thanks for looking out for me, Zack.' _

"When I got to Mideel…" his brow furrowed and he looked away as he trailed off as if the memory of what he saw was too painful to voice. I wondered if he told anyone what it looked like when he found me, or if he couldn't bear to describe it.

I decided to spare him the rest of the story, "Then you buried me there. Am I right to assume you used my sword as the headstone like you did for Zack?" He gave me a hard look so I cut him off before he had the chance to ask how I could possibly know that by off-handedly saying, "Zack and Aerith said 'it's about time,' by the way. I'm guessing they were talking about the two of you finally hooking up."

Whatever he had intended to say evaporated into thin air and his face fell completely blank. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. I come back from the dead and he tries to get answers. He gets a message from the 'great beyond' and he can't think of a thing to say. He was an enigma if there ever was one. Then, a look of gentleness made its way to his eyes. "Sounds like them," he muttered endearingly.

"How dare you go die on me!" the brunette cried and captured me in a bone crushing embrace. "I'll never forgive you!" she sobbed into my shoulder and I awkwardly tried to comfort her. I could only guess how hard it was on her to get news of my death. It had to have been horrible for her.

I sighed and relented to return her hug. For her, the only woman I had ever really connected with apart from Aerith, I could swallow my pride and show I cared. "I'm sorry, Tifa. You'll never know how truly sorry I am for everything." She huffed and, despite her previous claim to refuse to do so, forgave me. Over her shoulder, I saw the guarded look Cloud was watching us with again and sighed. "Tifa, I need to talk to Cloud," I said as I pulled away from her embrace. A look of worry crossed her features at my sudden seriousness but she nodded either way. I heard her make her way up the stairs and shoo away the eavesdropping children she found there, but I was sure she was probably listening in herself.

Shaking my head, I took a deep breath and sat down at the bar beside him. "I've screwed up, _a lot,_" I rested my chin in my hand as I spoke. "You know, I don't even remember why I was so angry at you? Stupid thing to die for. I didn't even realize you and Tifa had gotten together." I absentmindedly drummed my fingers against the surface of the bar, letting the guilt eat away at myself. "How much of his life have I missed?" I asked, feeling the worst about letting my anger keep me from my nephew's birth and his entire life up until now.

Cloud leaned against the bar; arms crossed, and looked away. "A year and a half," he replied and I could tell in the way he refused to meet my eyes that he was just as upset with me for it as I was with myself.

"God, I'm horrible," I growled and folded my head into my arms, resting my forehead against to cool surface of the bar. "I need to make up for all the things I've done, but I'm not sure how. It can't just be to keep myself from having regrets either. Making myself feel better won't fix what I've broken. I have a long way to go. I can't do it on my own." I glanced at Cloud, trying to decipher his expression, "Will you help me?

At my request, he met my eyes again. I'm not sure what he saw in my face, but he gave a curt not before pulling something out of his pocket and sliding it across the bar. It hit my arm and I picked up the cell phone in confusion. It was the same one I had before. "You couldn't have known I was coming back." He shook his head and I screwed up my face in bewilderment, "Then why hold on to it?"

He shrugged and turned away again, "It was yours."

'_He was keeping it as a memento.' _I realized and smiled. Neither of us were touchy people, so it surprised us both when I hugged him; even more so when he returned the gesture. It was awkward and mildly uncomfortable, but the love was still there.

"No, Zack! Come back!" Tifa called and chased after the toddler that came waddling across the floor to us. We quickly broke apart and awkwardly stepped away from each other. "Sorry," she offered sheepishly.

I shook my head and bent down to pick up the tyke and balance him on my hip. He stared between me and Cloud for several seconds before reaching up and yanking a lock of our hair together as though he were examining how similar the color was. "Hair pulling phase," he explained as he wrestled his hair loose, minus a few strands, and set the toddler on the counter saying gently, "Don't pull hair, Zack."

"'Kay," he replied absentmindedly, showing he wouldn't remember later. Again, he looked between me and his father and asked, "Who lady?"

He hesitated a moment, giving me a stern look. "Aunt Rayne," he replied with a ghost of smile.

Zack turned back to me and grabbed at my hair again, though he didn't really pull at it. He smiled and said, "Aunt Wayne?"

I grinned and ruffled his hair, though it didn't seem to have any affect at all. "That's me, kiddo," I confirmed quietly. He laughed, and it was infectious as I found myself chuckling, certain Cloud was smiling now, too.

I was startled when the bell above he door to the bar jingled and a grumbling Yuffie walked in. In true Yuffie fashion, she stopped mid-stride when her eyes fell on me before she screamed. If Tifa's embrace was bone-crushing, Yuffie's was deadly. The sheer noise she was making alone was enough to frighten Zack, who started crying and had to be carried off by Tifa.

"If ya don't let the lass go, she may be in for another run in with death." Cait Sith was someone I didn't expect to show up at the bar on a normal day, let alone this one. Even so, I was thankful for him when his words made Yuffie release me. She continued to chant my name, but I summed it up as her way to cope with my 'resurrection.'

"Damn kids just won't stay dead, will ya?" Cid threw a look at both me and Cloud as he threw himself into a chair near us.

I recalled the incident with Sephiroth's remnants and how Cloud had his own run in with death. "We have friends in high places," I mused. I was sure Cloud had hid a smirk of his own when he turned away.

"Glad you're back," he muttered around a cigarette as he lit it and blew a smoke ring with a jut of his thumb in Yuffie's general direction, "Been about as fun as a tar pit while you were gone." He shot a grin my way and I laughed to myself. Cid was one person I rarely had issues with. The same kind of things got on our nerves, so he was usually the first person to back me up on something, even if whatever it was I was angry about was stupid.

"I'm glad to know I was missed, you have no idea." Brushing my chaotic blonde hair back out of my face, I sighed. _'How can they not hate me after everything I did?'_ I wondered, but pushed the thought to the side for the time being. At the moment, I had a more pressing matter to address. "Not to sound rude or anything, but could I get something to eat? I'm starving."

"Of course!" Tifa said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me behind her to the kitchen. I leaned against the wall, feeling almost too much like my brother, as she darted around the room to prepare what was looking to be a banquet. After a while of content silence, she asked, "So, how do you feel?"

"Other than like my insides are eating themselves?" I jeered. I was granted with a chuckle, to which I grinned, then scratched my head. "I'm not sure. I don't feel any different than I did before. It looks like my scars are gone," I commented as I examined my arms. "New body, I guess. Might be why I'm so hungry, too," I shrugged, "I don't know. The only thing I've noticed is that I don't feel angry anymore like I used to. Maybe all my physical scars became mental ones."

"That may not be a bad thing," She pointed out, "Maybe it'll keep you from getting the old physical wounds back."

"Maybe." I hoped more than anything she was right.

I could tell in her eyes when she looked at me that she wanted to hug me again, but seemed to think better of it. "I really missed you, Rayne," she said with a shuttered breath.

"How long was I 'gone' for?" I chose my words carefully; clearly the memory of my death was still strong with her. I didn't want to unnecessarily upset her.

"About two months," the pain was unmistakable in her voice.

I was dumbstruck, "Two months? I only talked to them for an hour, though." _'They suffered for two months because of me,'_ I sighed and smacked my head against the wall in frustration. "I'm such a screw up," I mumbled under my breath. "Still have the rest of my life to live now," I reminded myself, "That's worth losing a few months."

"Why did you come back?" The underlying sting was still in her voice, and it was my fault.

"Zack," I said simply. "He said I still had a path I needed to follow on Gaia. They still have one too. Him and Aerith, I mean. They can't do their job here though. They're somewhere between here and the Lifestream until their business is done, instead."

Tifa hummed to herself for a moment then asked, "What happens then?"

I caught the tone of concern in her voice and smirked, _'Leave it to Tifa to worry about someone that's already dead.'_ "They return to the planet. I think they have to watch over us," I added as an afterthought.

Tifa beamed, "It doesn't sound so bad, you know? Watching over loved ones. I don't think I'll mind so much when it's my time, if that's what I can do until I know they're all okay." I nodded in agreement.

What seemed to be like a gathering to morn, turned into a rather loud and enjoyable night to celebrate life. By the end of the night, the entire gang, minus one Reno and one Vincent Valentine, had showed up. We shared stories, laughed, danced and reveled in everyone's continued good health. I was never more thankful for being alive.

"_**I can't seem to operate, from this far away.  
There's a million little voices tellin' me  
I should have stayed.**_

_**Oh it feels so good to hear you speak.**_

_**This is where I start to miss you, more than I can bare.  
I hate this distance between us; I don't think it's fair."**_

_**-'Low Fidelity' by The Spill Canvas**_


	2. Chapter Two: A Glimpse of Forgiveness

**A/N: Hopefully, if anyone that was following _Low Fidelity Turned On High_ by TKQ is reading this now, you'll agree that this is a much more well rounded version. In this chapter you'll notice I've cut out some of the random unnecessary humor in favor of a more inside look at Rayne's struggle to rediscover a version of herself she thought was lost. Don't worry, though. This is a heavy Yuffie chapter so it can't possibly be all serious. **

**Also, if you read my profile, or if you didn't, I have a problem with deadlines and writers block a lot, so please don't hold it against me if I don't update regularly. I'll do my best, but I've been known to take extended hiatuses from one particular story unexpectedly. Reviews definitely help to motivate me into continuously writing but don't let that be the only reason for reviewing if you choose to do so.**

**Peace, and enjoy!**

**~Vy**

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**Chapter Two – A Glimpse of Forgiveness**

I felt a mild panic rise in my chest the next morning when I found I was unable to move. My alarm was quickly stifled by exasperation; the primary reason for my immobility was due to one Yuffie Kisaragi. She apparently felt the need to ensure I wasn't going to disappear in the night by more or less gluing herself to my side. The secondary cause, one I was much more accepting of, was the sight of my new found nephew curled up against the other side of me. He was completely out and the thought of waking him just to get away from Yuffie was not enough reason for me to move.

A side effect of my decision was the pleasant experience of the aforementioned ninja drooling in my ear for roughly an hour before Zack finally decided to stir from his slumber. Drowsy crystalline eyes stared at me a moment as he came to before he giggled. I couldn't help but smile knowing there wasn't anything that he actually found funny.

As though she was conscious and reading my mind, Yuffie seemed to decide to give Zack something to laugh. I realized I was moving too late and landed in a heap on the floor, half crushing Yuffie underneath the weight. "What's the big idea?" she cried obnoxiously, not inches from my head. She didn't even realize she was still gripping my arm.

"It's your fault," I grumbled, waving off Tifa and Cloud, who was in the room in seconds for fear for their son. "This is what happens when you attach yourself to someone in the middle of the night." Pulling myself from the floor with a frown, I popped my back and shook out my hair before picking up Zack and letting him ride on my shoulders as we all made our way downstairs for breakfast. At least my pain wasn't for nothing; the boy couldn't stop giggling.

Denzel and Marlene were ahead of us already but jumped up and hugged me as soon as Tifa had 'flown' the tike from around my neck to feed him. They both beamed up at me and chattered loudly about how much they missed me and of all the things they wanted to do with me now that I was back. I couldn't tell if Tifa and Cloud had told them I had died or not. They clearly knew I had left for a long time but seemed too cheery to have heard of my passing. I decided not to dwell on it and shooed them back to the table and their forgotten breakfast with promises to spend more time with them from now on.

"He's just as stubborn as his father," Tifa huffed, trying to get the tike, who was adamantly refusing, to use a sippy-cup.

"Just do what you do with him," I nodded in Cloud's direction. "Wait it out," I offered to her inquiring look. "He'll come around in the end. Oh, by the way, Cloud," His head snapped up from the mug in front of him like he was about to fall asleep in it, "Appropriate name for the fruit of your loins. He looks just like him."

"Yeah," he mumbled as he turned, pink cheeked, back to his coffee. He almost buried his nose in the scalding liquid when Marlene asked Denzel what 'fruit of your loins' meant in a poorly attempted whisper.

I laughed to myself and stretched again before sighing, "Well, thanks for letting me stay the night, but I think I'll head home now. You know, revisit some old memories and see where I want to go from-"

"Rayne," Cloud interrupted and stood up with a worried look, "It was sold."

I stared at him a moment then frowned and leaned against the wall, crossing my arms. "That's right; you guys didn't think I was coming back. That means I'll have to try and find somewhere else to live."

"Don't be silly!" Tifa waived off the idea immediately, "You'll stay here with us."

Her inviting smile dropped when I shook my head. "You have a family here already. I don't want to intrude on that, it wouldn't be right of me. I'll find somewhere to live, don't worry. Did you guys keep anything of mine?"

Cloud donned a dark look and angrily turned back to his coffee. I turned to his wife for an explanation. Her expression wasn't much better. "Your apartment was in a Shinra managed building, Rayne. They cleaned the place out before we got a chance to. They sold everything."

"What?" I was stunned, "What?! He can't do that! All of my stuff should have gone to my closest living relative! It should have gone to Cloud! Why did he- Why didn't he-"I was at a loss for words. After a moment I growled and headed out the door, malice bleeding from me like an open wound.

Yuffie was the first out the door and on my trail. "Rayne! Rayne, wait!" She jumped in the way of my path with a huff from having to keep up, "Stop. It isn't worth starting something with Shinra. He had Rude give Cloud the money afterwards; we can get you new things."

_No regrets…_ I heard it echo in my mind and resigned not to hunt down the swine but tears welled in my eyes, "Some things can't be replaced, Yuffie." She gave me sad smile and led me back to the bar. I waited outside, thinking of the most precious things I had owned that were lost to me now, while Yuffie talked to Cloud about the gil.

Yuffie stayed with me all day while I rebought everything I was now without. I had to rebuy all my clothes, which in retrospect was the vast majority of my possessions other than furniture that I had owned before and that I couldn't get until I had a place to live. I had to rebuy the materia I had before and start from scratch to retrain it. The last thing that was left to buy at the end of the day was a new weapon. It was something I had thought about when I was in the materia shop and I had decided that while it was possible to retrieve my old sword from Mideel, I didn't want it. I needed to get a _new_ sword, because I was forging a new path for myself. I needed a weapon that wasn't tainted with bad blood.

Yuffie immediately left my side in favor of the case for throwing knives and the like while I perused the extensive sword collection along the store walls. I lingered by the buster swords but I didn't have the strength to effectively wield one, mako enhancement or not. I had always wanted to follow in line behind Cloud to use the behemoth of a weapon, but it was never a possibility for me. Instead I moved on to more manageable looking blades.

"Vinnie!" The chirpy cry startled and confused me. I wasn't familiar with the nickname any more but that didn't stop me from recognizing who Yuffie was standing by when I automatically turned to the sound of her voice. The shock of red was all I saw before my head snapped back around. My blood ran cold and my heart dropped like a stone as harsh words screamed at me from the past. Instinct dictated I look for an escape route and take it.

_**"Rayne."**_

_**"What? Are you going to try to stop me, too?"**_

_**"What will this solve?"**_

_**"Does it matter? At least I'm doing something instead of sitting around on my ass!"**_

_**"It won't change anything."**_

_**"I know that, but brooding about it isn't gonna do it either. Or haven't you figured that out yet? Fighting, even if it's just fighting fiends, may not bring back the people Shinra stole from me, but at least it makes me feel better. How does talking to Lucrecia's body make you feel, huh? Do you feel better staring at her corpse all the time? Does it feel good to look your failure in the face? Do you like not knowing if she blames you for everything that happened?"**_

_**"Stop."**_

_**"Well, you know what? Fine. If you like staring at your losses, go right ahead. Be pathetic. I don't give a shit. But don't try to make me do the same." **_

I felt my veins pump ice. Vincent was only guilty of trying to help me see reason like Cloud had, to keep me from running off to what eventually lead to my death. He was only trying to save me and I repaid him by throwing what I knew haunted him the most back in his face.

'Don't hide from this...' I wasn't sure if I had heard it or imagined Aerith's voice, but it didn't make a difference. Either way, she was right. Making amends was part of why I was alive again in the first place. I had to start somewhere.

"There she is. Rayne!" Yuffie waived me over to the gun case and proceeded to poke and prod me, "See? She's really here! In the flesh and everything!"

"Yuffie," her senseless chatter ceased immediately, "Could you give us a minute?" I wasn't sure if it was how serious I was, or the empty look in Vincent's eyes that made her leave but she quickly snuck away from the heavy atmosphere. I wished I could do the same.

"She's easy to ask forgiveness from. Yuffie, I mean." I glanced at the fire arms without really seeing them. Anything to avoid confronting those contemptuous eyes. "It's not so easy with you. Not after the things I said. I could try to explain what was going through my head that day, but it won't change anything. It's no excuse for what I did."

"No," his voice was cold and hard, like polished marble, "It's not."

I nodded. I deserved his resentment. "I had no right to say what I said to you, and I couldn't feel worse about being so heartless. I know you struggle with the things in your past just like everyone else. I shouldn't have even brought it up." _'Am I even saying the right thing _now_?' _I sighed and looked him in the eye and I hoped he saw my sincerity, "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Vincent, but I hope one day you won't hate me as much."

His eyes weren't quite as harsh as they were before, but his face, or what could be seen of it, was still guarded. "You're serious." It wasn't a question and I was glad he was certain of at least that much.

I nodded, "Yeah. And I want you to know that I didn't mean what I said that day, when I called you pathetic. I actually think it shows how strong you are, to be able to face your demons. I couldn't and I was angry that I couldn't find it in myself to be that strong, so I ran away." A dark smile crept onto my face. It was hard to admit my faults. Harder to admit them out loud.

"It's there," he muttered after a moment, brushing past me towards the door, "You just have to look." He left without a backwards glance but my heart felt lighter for having talked to him.

Feeling in much higher spirits than I started the day with, I quickly finished my business in the shop and started back in the direction of the bar with Yuffie in tow. However, as we approached the bar I remembered what I told Tifa just that morning, and my pace slowed.

"What are we waiting for?" Yuffie asked when she realized I had dragged to a stop. I was almost surprised she didn't stomp her foot like a child.

I didn't like asking people for favors - a trait I shared with my brother - but I disliked going back on my word more. I hesitated, watching her expectant face twist into confused curiosity. "Do you think I could stay with you tonight?" I spit it out like vomit you try to swallow that just won't go down.

For a moment it seemed like she would say 'no', then she reminded me of who she was. "Of course you can!" Her tone said it should have been obvious. She slung a bag loaded arm over my shoulders and steered me in the direction of her apartment in Edge, chattering away about everything we would do that night and the nights that would follow.

"We can't stay up too late," I reminded her, "I have to get up early to look for a place of my own." But, of course, she barely seemed to hear me at all. I should have expected as much. How could I ever forget who I was dealing with?

"_**Your nerves gather with the altitude  
Exhale the stress so you don't come unglued  
Somewhere there is a happy affair, a ghost of a good mood"**_

_**-'Rainbow Veins' by Owl City**_


End file.
